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Today is Sunday but I’m not quite feeling like going to church at all. Is it because I desperately need a miracle to pay for my delivery and buy my baby’s things and I cannot get one? Or because I am down to my last 3000 naira and do not expect payment for the freelance job I got which I can’t do myself but no longer have the werewithal to send people out to do? Is it because I am tired of the inconvenience and lack of privacy in staying in someone’s house? Yes to all. I’m just tired. I want a way out, and death is not out of the question. I feel that if God has time for me it is not now so it’s better to just forget it altogether. I don’t know…

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