You Had Me At Hello

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I have to say thank you to everyone who reached out to me following my last post. Where tha heck did y’all come from? I kept getting beep after beep on my phone about one comment or the other  and frankly, by the 3rd comment I had gotten a grip of myself; but the comments still kept coming! How did all these people find me, I wondered.  As a matter of fact at the last two comments I had to start laughing because it seemed I would have to start comforting a few readers soon.

I am much better now. I was able to speak with a more mature, wiser person and together with some introspective meditation I have put it all in perspective. There is no excuse for a person who comes into someone else’s house and takes unfair advantage of them, but I -we- can learn from it. One thing I have learnt is to heed the warning bells that go on in my head. If you read my previous posts you will understand when I say that I battle with a crushing self-esteem issue. As a result I do not stand up for myself,  to men, when I should. It may have occurred to a lot of other ladies that they were placing themselves in a vulnerable or weak position that night, and they would have made the person stay outside or something. For me, the voice of lack of confidence would say ‘who do you think you are to put a man outside’, or turn his offer of a visit down, or refuse his gifts ( in other situations). I kid you not. I have to learn to silence that voice.

Also, and more importantly, I realize the need for counseling for young ladies or girls, both so that they can avoid this situation, and also so that they can recover from it if it ever happens to them. I am living proof of the dangerous ripple effect of sexual abuse, lack of confidence and naivete in a growing female child. I have a duty to help as many other girls growing up as I can to avoid these same problems.This is part of my mission on earth, I know that as sure as I am breathing.

Life is fraught with problems, that is a fact, but we are here to help each other solve those problems as best we can. We cannt afford to just roll up and die every time something bad happens. Like I always say, dont die, before you die, because you will still die. Make the most of everything in life, good or bad. The most important day in your life, apart from when you were born is the day you know WHY you were born. Strange as it sounds, no matter what the distractions, this illness, this life, is the reason why I am here. My strength which you all have so generously commended,  is  for me to be able to carry other people. And so help me God, I will.

So the movement continues. LUTH chronicles are next.

Thank you very much, everyone.

Love, light, and Tambourines

Joie

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13 responses »

  1. Hiya…I just discovered your blog and you are on the list of people I wish I could meet one day. Why? I admire your spirit, and the forthright way you write. From far away as I read your posts I feel such a sense of purpose and strength coming from you. The days when life seems to beat you down but you persevere to the next day, is just so commendable to me. You have touched on so many important topics affecting the female Nigerian child and I just continue to hope that through your voice enlightenment and change come. Cyber hug.

  2. I read every single post of yours( went to your old address) and my heart broke, soared, broke and soared over and over again. You are one “heaven” of a strong woman…i don’t think I could have survived any of the things you have been through..here I was thinking TTC is heart wrenching..God I take back every single word of complain ….I wish I could hug and hold you so close(am no homo oh) its just that you have got a good disposition to God, life and all the ish you have been through. God will continue to make you see rainbow during the storm in Jesus name. He definitely won’t let you go where his prescence is, God will continue to give his angels charge over you and cause you to be a wonder and testimony to our generation.

    Dearie, I am flipping in love with you and your strength , in short I have drawn stregth from your story. I also learnt a lot about PLWHA than I have done in my lifetime from reading your posts. I am better enlightened.

    Bear hugs to your daughter and you are in my prayers.

    • Responses like this are the reasons I can go on. I am ecstatic that I succeeded in telling you something new about HIV, and that you find me inspiring enough to draw strength from.
      I say an Amen to your prayers. However, I dont know what TTC is but because I seem to have a larger problem does not mean yours are insignificant. If it is real to you, that is real enough. Just find out what it is meant to signify.
      I love you too (no homo). LOL.

      • Just read my comment and realized a typo , I meant ” he won’t let you go where his presence isn’t” .

        TTC is “trying to conceive” , I have been trying to get pregnant for over 7years now and have tried everything humanly and spiritually possible……I am learning to see that God is still God in whatever challenge I face.

        Hugs..

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