I have to say thank you to everyone who reached out to me following my last post. Where tha heck did y’all come from? I kept getting beep after beep on my phone about one comment or the other and frankly, by the 3rd comment I had gotten a grip of myself; but the comments still kept coming! How did all these people find me, I wondered. As a matter of fact at the last two comments I had to start laughing because it seemed I would have to start comforting a few readers soon.
I am much better now. I was able to speak with a more mature, wiser person and together with some introspective meditation I have put it all in perspective. There is no excuse for a person who comes into someone else’s house and takes unfair advantage of them, but I -we- can learn from it. One thing I have learnt is to heed the warning bells that go on in my head. If you read my previous posts you will understand when I say that I battle with a crushing self-esteem issue. As a result I do not stand up for myself, to men, when I should. It may have occurred to a lot of other ladies that they were placing themselves in a vulnerable or weak position that night, and they would have made the person stay outside or something. For me, the voice of lack of confidence would say ‘who do you think you are to put a man outside’, or turn his offer of a visit down, or refuse his gifts ( in other situations). I kid you not. I have to learn to silence that voice.
Also, and more importantly, I realize the need for counseling for young ladies or girls, both so that they can avoid this situation, and also so that they can recover from it if it ever happens to them. I am living proof of the dangerous ripple effect of sexual abuse, lack of confidence and naivete in a growing female child. I have a duty to help as many other girls growing up as I can to avoid these same problems.This is part of my mission on earth, I know that as sure as I am breathing.
Life is fraught with problems, that is a fact, but we are here to help each other solve those problems as best we can. We cannt afford to just roll up and die every time something bad happens. Like I always say, dont die, before you die, because you will still die. Make the most of everything in life, good or bad. The most important day in your life, apart from when you were born is the day you know WHY you were born. Strange as it sounds, no matter what the distractions, this illness, this life, is the reason why I am here. My strength which you all have so generously commended, is for me to be able to carry other people. And so help me God, I will.
So the movement continues. LUTH chronicles are next.
Thank you very much, everyone.
Love, light, and Tambourines