Update

So I went to the APIN clinic for my regular checkup. I had done a test 3 months ago as we usually do, to check my CD4 levels and I was expecting the result today. Anyway, I will probably talk about the visit later but suffice it to say that my suspicions were right. My CD4 levels have dropped. I was a bit ill when I tested last – kind of like I have been lately- and going through a lot of stress like having to move out of my home and working on a printing job that was very problematic. So maybe that was the problem. I remember being very shocked at my weight that day which is only 2kg less than what I weigh now. Things are not much different now so I wonder if the CD4 hasn’t dropped even further. The doctor advised that I ‘eat well’, ‘do everything to make my CD4 increase’. She was so casual about it, seemed like I was just one of her many case notes. I am still not at the level where they prescribe drugs but that is because I am in Nigeria. In a developed country I would have began drugs from my last test but I guess to some that is a good thing.

That is the main issue from my hospital visit though, other occurrences will come later.  I  disabled comments today because really I do not feel like hearing about hugs and all that right now. No offense to anyone. I’ll be okay.

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Peekaboo

Life for a PLWHA is not much different from everyone elses. Not MUCH, I said. I have been away because I was fighting the urge to get on here and complain.It has not been easy but it’s not easy for anyone, whether you are HIV+ or not. Nigeria is a terrible country to exist in.

I was very badly affected by the NIS tragedy. I took it personally because any of those people could have been me.But this exact reason is why I attempt to avoid desperation in my job search. Not every job is worth getting, not to mention dying for.

I have been ill lately and everytime I am ill I imagine it might be time for me to die. I imagine that the disease has finally won. This time was particularly fraught with imagining things like that. Maybe because I did not have enough money to treat myself or maybe for other reasons this illness that presents like malaria has refused to go. But I am here.

And thus ends my randomness for today

Joie