Without Missing A Beat


My lips turned black today. I say today because it only showed up today but it began on Monday to be honest.

After the verdict from the hospital, I went on a death-by-junk diet. And knowing what my financial situation is like, junk food comprised cheap biscuits (cookies) and coca cola. Imagine living on that all week – actually more than a week. I figured I would not put on any weight since the bloody thing seems to be reducing by itself and that I am already at risk for falling really ill so ‘what tha heck’. Then this morning my neighbour’s daughter exclaimed that my lips were black! I went to look in the mirror and truly that is what they were/are.

I admit I was a bit frightened at this discovery – this rapture was happening faster than I anticipated- so I went to google black, chapped lips in relation to HIV and came up with nothing. But it yielded many results for dehydration and reaction to the benzoic acid in sodas when consumed in large amounts. And add that to my coloured natural hair which in twists look like fat dreads and I could very well be mistaken for Fela’s offspring. Or at the very least, hisprotege.

I intend to take care of myself eventually, so I will cut out the sodas for now. I understand now that my lowered immunity is not some failure on my part but as a result of the malaria I suffered in December that almost wiped me out. And there were a few signs that I had become weak but I ignored them or tried to overcome them.

I have been watching the series Breaking Bad. (Yes I am one of those people who waits years until the noise has died down before I see a movie.) It is quite gripping, and I am inspired by Walter White, not because he keeps giving life a shot despite the issues- I see that cliche in everything- but because he really has gone past the point where he gives a shit. I want to get there. I am though, very gradually…


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